He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
