I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
