do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's official drugs can't kill me
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
