people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
