You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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