sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
