Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
