I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
