One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize