he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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