Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
