nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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