At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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