it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
