i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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