I'm jealous of your bromance
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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