Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
