i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
