I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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