Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
sarcasm needs its own font
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
