I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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