i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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