Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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