I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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