Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
