you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
