i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
