I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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