If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize