I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize