omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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