did you get engaged???
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
