just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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