We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
