I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
