There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
