Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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