I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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