Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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