What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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