nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
