Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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