Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize