1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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