Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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