rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
