So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
