It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
