That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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