I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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