He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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