im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I met the friendliest cop last night
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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