Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
