just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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