Hey man sorry I got all grabby
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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