Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize