I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We left the knife in your bed.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize