shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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